entry # 1: from what i can remember..

[Vidette Volturi]

My life wasn't a soap opera, or a suspense novel that had you hanging on the edge of your seat. It wasn't dramatic or particularly eventful, either. In fact, my life was - if you could believe it - average.

My father, Giuseppe, married my mother at a young age and bore me and several other children - whose names I can't seem to remember. . . Giuseppe was a nice man, a loving father, and a caring husband. In my eyes, he was the best dad a girl could have. Though, I rarely ever saw him, he was the most influencial part of my life - and one of the only few people I remember from my mortality to this day.

We lived in the once small village of Florence, Italy. Our house was relatively large in comparison to those surrounding it, though it pales against the miraculous castle I live in now. I remember the house was made of stone, and had vines creeping up the side and around the windows. It was cozy and warm, and absolutely perfect for a family of four. My family of four.

I suppose you could say I was beautiful, though I could never find beauty when I saw my reflection. My nose was too big, hair too long, eyes too almond-shaped. Imperfection was all over ; I was no more attractive than the old hag that lived above the brewery. Yet, men flung themselves at me regularly. They would stop me in my travels and openly flirt with me, bowing low and kissing the back of my hand as if I were some kind of royalty! It was absurd. Though, I cannot say I didn't enjoy all of the attention. I was beyond flattered that I was the talk of the town. That young Vidette Garland was considered lovely.

At times, I will admit, I used their attraction to my advantage. I enjoyed playing games of cat-and-mouse, having them chase me and vie for my attention. It was all really amusing. They would retrieve things for me, run errands for me, shower me with gifts - and all I had to do was smile and bat my lashes innocently. What a life I had.

But despite my casual games, I never did anything wrong. I learned my ABC's and 123's, practiced proper etiquette, and regarded others with the highest respect possible. I was well-mannered and demure - I was a lady.

So, what on Earth did I do wrong? What could I have possibly done to deserve eternal damnation? Don't get me wrong, I adore the time I spend in Volterra with my new quasi-family, but this souless, cold life is not something I asked for. Depending on humans for food was never something I thought even possible.

Sometimes, I wish it were possible to resurrect Basilio from the dead. I would love to torture him some more - show him that I'm not his little bitch anymore. He created me, "saved" me, to help bring his army of immortal children to life and yet here I stand now - among the ranks of the most powerful and feared vampires in history. I got out of his chokehold and saved myself. But, if he were alive still, I would want to ask him something: Why me? There were other people dying in that building, others who could have helped you just as well. They might have even stuck around to see it through, rather than running away out of fear. Why choose me?