entry one;; to hold what is dear

[heidivolturi]

I wish it didn't have to end the way it did, the way it happened. I never even got to say goodbye to him. Apollo, my best friend, my brother, he was life itself and no doubt he would have made a wonderful husband.

I remember that night so clearly, so vividly. Why had I decided to go into town that day was beyond me, it was stupid enough going into Florence without my brother and even stupider to stay till night fall. The men, all only about twenty years old, they were all so drunk, so crude and absolutly vile. The pain was unbearable for my small body at one point, my soft skin was raw from the many times they hit me, my blood boiled underneath. I would say I put up a good fight, but I didn't, there were so many of them. The worst part was when they tied me up and left me.

The people were harsh, occasionally there would be a person who walked by and gave me a pitying look. If they cared so much they would have helped me, not walk away. I felt sorry for myself, but actually more sorry for Apollo. He didn't know I had left, he probably was still asleep. I sat in the dirty street, my skin raw and my clothes ruined. Sometimes a cruel man or boy would kick me and beat me around a few times, by then I was too numb to notice the blunt force.

Nightfall came again, this time there was even more people, one or two I recognized from the street. They all got drunk again, I was a heap at their feet practically begging them to let me go. Tears, I have never cried much but tears streamed down my face, my eyes becoming bloodshot. They all just laughed and then continued to hurt me, it's nothing like jane's pain, but these men were cruel.

I remember seeing the pale faced one in the shadows, I wasn't scared, no, I was curious and my eyes begged for his help, but he slunk back into the shadows. He came back for me though, that night while the men where all around me hurting me, he was there then they were gone, dead. I watched him kill themm all, such grace and beauty. I was fascinated with him, however I was still a mess in the dirty street. He had cared for me that night, carried me away farther into another secluded alleyway, he wad beautiful, his gleaming red eyes stared at me.

I wanted to be with him forever. I remember how soft he was, how gently he bit into me. It was the burning that followed that surprised me, he only looked at me and put a finger to his lips telling me to be quiet. Obediently I bit back my screams, squeezing my eyes shut hoping to dull the pain. Eventually I passed out, but I would never forget his touch, it was electrifying and I adored him.

Waking up a few days later he was gone but a thirst took his place. I was scared, the fear was stronger than the thirst, I waited. I was good at waiting, that night I fed on the stupid, indecent, immoral men who were just like the ones he had killed. It went on for awhile, he remained hidden for a long time. I didn't even go back to Apollo, I forgot about him until it was too late. Aro had found along with the volturi, I thought I would actually get to be at peace, be able to die, I wasn't going to fight them. Now here I am, with my family.

I only hope I find someone, I want to love, find someone with a touch as soft as the one who cared for me that night, hopefully one who can be loyal to the volturi as well as me.

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